


You & Me

by kannuki_neru



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, Misunderstandings, Romance, minor dubcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 19:17:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8908762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kannuki_neru/pseuds/kannuki_neru
Summary: Seungri seemed mostly confused but he didn't say anything, just let Jiyong take his clothes off one by one until he was sitting on the sofa naked with Jiyong straddling him, still in his coat. Unreasonable anger kept boiling in him and Jiyong just wanted to scream. Is this how it is? Is this what we've been doing?
'What's wrong?' Seungri asked, his voice heavy with worry. 'Hyung, please tell me.'
His hands were gentle on Jiyong's face, looking at him and only at him. In that moment, it stabbed Jiyong right in the gut. 
Jiyong bowed down suddenly and bit him. He kept leaving red bites on his neck, his collarbone, before moving up again to all but shove his tongue into Seungri's mouth. He started to work on his belt and he knew the coarse fabric must have scratched Seungri's skin.





	

The car had been stuck in traffic for ages, only the soft sounds of a talk show seeping through the radio speakers and the engine's vibrations rolling the seats. Jiyong looked straight ahead, feeling a little dizzy from blinding neon lights and tiredness that already reached his bones. His heart was heavy, and although words threatened to spill any moment, he couldn't find the right expression, and so they never left his clenched mouth.

Despite knowing that the windows were darkened, he still felt a little unsure reaching over to his right. He gave the road ahead one glance before turning and looking at Seungri who was sleeping facing away from him. Jiyong let out a quiet shuddering breath and touched his hand, gently at first, just covering Seungri's palm with his own, and then turning it over to lace their fingers together. Seungri stirred a little. He must have woken up but it took a few moments before he decided to let Jiyong know. He cleared his throat and his head rolled towards Jiyong. He gave him a faint smile and squeezed his hand in return.

Jiyong's mouth felt very dry and he just couldn't say anything.

'Are you hungry, hyung? Or we could order something at home?' Seugri asked and his other hand creeped up to stroke Jiyong's palm. It was a simple gesture but in that moment, it was the last straw. 

Seungri was taken aback at the sudden change in the way Jiyong was looking at him, the somewhat unreadable stare gave way to accusation. His eyes looked almost too shiny and Seungri stopped moving his fingers.

'I don't deserve you.' Jiyong whispered through a half-closed throat and in one swooping motion leaned over. Seungri tried to back away but there was nowhere to run and Jiyong's lips caught his own. Trying to be reasonable as he might, he could never resist this, not since the very start and the kiss lasted until the red light disappeared and the car behind them honked angrily. They both jumped and Jiyong, looking strangely dazed and out of it, put both his hands back on the steering wheel and started driving. He could feel Seungri's eyes on him for a good while, until he turned away again to continue his nap.

'Let's just go home' Seungri whispered and Jiyong sped up.

...

Jiyong drove the car into the private garage downstairs and they both stumbled out, finding their balance after the long ride. Jiyong didn't particularly look at Seungri as he felt around his bag for the keys and then led the way to the apartment. He briefly wondered if he'd overdone it recently, showing his house on the internet so often. If only Seungri's friends didn't decide to upload their own photos... He honestly didn't expect that many people to guess it was one and the same place but then again, privacy was sparse in his life.

It was his home though, and that's why he decided to take that picture on a whim, coming back from Fukuoka, after another long journey and the constant cold. Seungri had gone on ahead to get some things ready for the party and by the time Jiyong arrived, the lights were on and it looked like everything he wanted. The little cactus on the windowsill still looked cute and ridiculous ('It looks like scary, hyung. I dunno, I feel like it'll murder us in our sleep.') and Jiyong could already see Seungri shuffling around inside.

Now he stepped in first, Seungri following right after, and they both kicked their shoes off in the entryway. Jiyong felt the heat in his chest rising again and he had to take a few deep breaths before turning around and looking at Seungri. He seemed even more miserable under the bright lights and words just kept swirling in Jiyong's head, _he still believes I don't need him, how could I have not noticed, does he think that I don't love him when I fuck him, does-_

'Hyung,' Seungri started hesitantly, quick on the uptake as usual and noticing Jiyong's clenched fists. 'Are you okay?'

'Why are you worried about me?' he barked and immediately regretted it. What he meant to say was, please, let me worry about you for a change, let me take care of you, but now Seungri flinched and looked down at his feet.

Jiyong closed the distance between them in what was almost a leap, and he grabbed Seungri's face with both hands. Before he could even think about their usual rituals, closing the curtains, locking the door, he just couldn't seem to peel himself away. He kept kissing his cheeks, his forehead, before settling on his lips. He breathed in relief when he felt Seungri's mouth open for him and arms coming around his waist. Seungri seemed as desperate as him and there was almost no finesse to their kiss, no seduction or teasing, just hunger and pleading.

They broke apart for a moment, chests heaving, and Seungri's eyes looked suspiciously wet. He sighed and touched his cheek to Jiyong's before resting his face in the crook of Jiyong's neck. 

'Don't be angry with me,' he mumbled and Jiyong's hand flew to his head, keeping him there. His other hand was limp at his side and he closed his eyes.

'I'm angry with myself.' he said finally and grabbed Seungri by the shoulders, forcibly separating them. He almost tore his coat off him and then proceeded to make quick work of Seungri's shirt. This was decidedly not the ideal place, so Jiyong started walking them to the sofa, all the while fighting with the belt.

Seungri seemed mostly confused but he didn't say anything, just let Jiyong take his clothes off one by one until he was sitting on the sofa naked with Jiyong straddling him, still in his coat. Unreasonable anger kept boiling in him and Jiyong just wanted to scream. _Is this how it is? Is this what we've been doing?_

'What's wrong?' Seungri asked, his voice heavy with worry. 'Baby, please tell me.'

His hands were gentle on Jiyong's face, looking at him and only at him. In that moment, it stabbed Jiyong right in the gut. 

Jiyong bowed down suddenly and bit his neck. He kept leaving red bites on his neck, his collarbone, before moving up again to all but shove his tongue into Seungri's mouth. He started to work on his belt and he knew the coarse fabric must have scratched Seungri's skin.

Jiyong was already hard despite not even being that aroused, this was how it always was with Seungri. Sometimes he couldn't even understand it, how it was possible to still want someone so much after years and years of being with them, to not be able to resist that chemistry that never seemed to grow any weaker.

He pushed Seungri down on his back and grabbed his thighs to open them before swooping down to kiss him again. His dick nudged Seungri's entrance and it was finally then that Seungri let out a whimper of resistance. Jiyong ignored it and pushed in a little, feeling Seungri's entire body freeze and his thighs spreading more.

Time seemed to stand still but the faint sound of a clock ticking echoed in the other room. 

'You really would.' Jiyong whispered half-incomprehensibly and rested his forehead against Seungri's chest.

'You would let me hurt you, you think that I could hurt you and you'd let that happen.' he spoke against his skin and and he moved forward in an attempt to bring their faces together. He almost forgot that he started to push inside and that motion made him go further in, causing Seungri's eyes to shut in pain.

'No, okay, pull out.' Seungri let out a shaky breath. 'Hyung, just take it out, it hurts.'

Jiyong's dick slipped out and his whole body went limp, collapsing on top of Seungri's. As if something had finally broken, he felt tears on his face before it actually registered that he was crying. He shook more and more violently, until Seungri's arms went around him.

'What's wrong with me, hyung? I think I might have actually let you. For a second, I wanted to. Not sure if it's because I wanted to be in pain or see you in pain after you've done it. I'm not the good guy here.'

Jiyong snickered through his tears and landed a few kisses on Seungri's neck.

'I don't know what's wrong with both of us.'

'I know it's hard, hyung. But we really need to be more careful. At least until we go to the army. I'd rather be careful than see you have another girlfriend in the press.' Seungri sounded a little bitter despite himself. 

Jiyong sighed and closed his eyes again. 

'You're right, Seunghyun-ah. I don't think I can stand virtually pretending not to know you ever again.'

'Wow, hyung, that was like years ago. I see that we're wallowing in guilt and pain tonight, huh?' Seungri asked and squeezed him tighter. He chuckled a little.

'I see it now. This is because of what I said, isn't it? That you guys don't need me?'

Jiyong propped himself up and looked down straight at him. 

'I guess it sounded dramatic. I'm a little fed up with everyone joking about a four-member Big Bang, is all.' Seungri said but he seemed to avoid Jiyong's eyes.

Jiyong touched his face and made Seungri turn to him.

'I'm sorry I said you use being in the group to your own ends. I really didn't mean that.' Jiyong said quickly, words running in on one another. 'I think you're talented. Didn't I tell you? You're the best to me. I'm sorry I don't say that enough,' Jiyong seemed like he wanted to go on but Seungri pushed himself up slightly to press their lips together.

'Let's just be careful. Please.' 

They didn't move for a while, and Seungri shifted so that he was wrapped around Jiyong, legs crossed over his lower back, hands resting on his neck. 

'I know you love me, hyung. I know you do.' he said almost inaudibly.

Jiyong felt like he was drowning and flying at the same time and he just held on tight. Every time they hurt each other was more painful than the last but over time, they kept being pulled closer and closer together. 

'I want to live inside your heart forever,' Jiyong said and Seungri stared at him incredulously. Jiyong did have a habit of saying things out loud, words that most people probably would never dare telling someone. It should have been cheesy but Seungri couldn't stop his face from melting into a smile. 

'That's very romantic but I don't know what to say, hyung.' he offered and Jiyong smacked his chest.

'Let's go to sleep for now, you must be cold. This coat is so freaking uncomfortable, too.' Jiyong mumbled and began to untangle himself from Seungri's limbs.

'We look somewhat ridiculous now,' Seungri laughed and let himself be let by the hand to the bedroom. 'Let's get in the car and go on a ride, baby.' he continued and laughed even harder when Jiyong shot him an ominous look.

'You and me, you know I want it~' he sang exaggeratedly and Jiyong couldn't help but smile.

'In the morning, Seunghyun-ah. And yes, I know you want it.' Jiyong's smile turned into a shit-eating grin and Seungri faked being outraged. 

The door closed behind them and their home was finally enveloped in silence.

**Author's Note:**

> I literally cannot handle the recent gri explosion and how things are just bubbling underneath. This a very self-indulgent fix-it story but nothing really gets fixed... I needed to get the bitter aftertaste of Infinity Challenge out. Looking on the bright side... despite the very strategic placing of a table, Jiyong still managed to almost put his legs up on Seungri in certain shots... then a second later he's sitting a meter away. Whenever he doubles over laughing and bodily leans into Seungri, the camera cuts away. Editing is magic ;)


End file.
